Stupid News Extras for this week
The Return of the Schoolgirl In A Sewer Story - DUNBAR, Florida. -- School officials are disputing a family's claim that their daughter was not properly cared for after falling into a sewer. Lee Charter Academy Principal Shirley Chapman said the girl fell near a manhole, not in it, and was allowed to wait in air conditioning until her parents arrived. Roto-Rooter spokesman Paul Abrams said last week that one of the company's workers left a grease trap open after working in the area on Tuesday and that is what 10-year-old Dejah Williams fell into it, not a sewer, the News-Press of Fort Myers reported Thursday. "We regret the error, no question. But it's certainly not anything that will cause someone harm," Abrams said. "It's not sewage, feces or anything like that. It's smelly, kind of gross, but it's not hazardous. It's kitchen grease."
Let Jesus Take Your Coat - At a website called Pink Bubble Bath dot com right now you can buy a Hand Of Jesus Coat Hanger. It's a six by five by eight plastic hand with a nine in nail through the center of it, available in three fabulous colors. The ad happily announces that you can "hand a coat or a jacket from the fingers, and a hat or a light jacket from the nail."
Sweet Mary, Mother Of God - In Fountain Valley, California, a chocolate factory worker has grabbed some headlines for discovering a collection of vat drippings that resemble the Virgin Mary. Since its discovery earlier this month, employees of Bodega Chocolates have spent much of their time hovering over the tiny figure, praying and placing rose petals and candles around it. Willy Wonka was unavailable for comment...
Beatles Webcam Helps Foil Robbery. LONDON (Reuters) - An American helped foil a burglary in northern England whilst watching a Beatles-related webcam over the Internet, police said Friday. The man from Dallas was using a live camera link to look at Mathew Street, an area of Liverpool synonymous with the Beatles and home to the Cavern Club where the band regularly played. He saw intruders apparently breaking into a sports store and alerted local police. "We did get a call from someone in Dallas who was watching on a webcam that looks into the tourist areas, of which Mathew Street is one because of all the Beatles stuff," a Merseyside Police spokeswoman said. "He called directly through to police here." Officers were sent to the scene and three suspects were arrested.
Keep your distance. Avoid eye contact. And even if it looks cute, never hug a Swiss cow. Responding to numerous "reports of unpleasant meetings between hikers and cattle" along Switzerland's picture-perfect Alpine trails this summer, the Swiss Hiking Federation has laid down a few ground rules. "Leave the animals in peace and do not touch them. Never caress a calf. Do not scare the animals or look them directly in the eye. Do not wave sticks. And give a precise blow to the muzzle of the cow in the event of absolute need." A spokeswoman says that while there were no precise statistics on incidents involving cows, walkers are reporting more run-ins than a few years ago.
An Indiana woman who invested 800-dollars in a wig-making company during the 1960s but believed it had gone out of business recently learned she was wrong -- to the tune of more than 100-thousand dollars. Carol Lee Woods received a check last week for more than 116-thousand dollars from the state's Unclaimed Property division. Woods was working as a model in the 1960s when she bought 100 shares of Fashion Tress Inc., after reading about its wigs in Vogue magazine. Several years after her stock purchase, Woods lost track of the company and couldn't find it listed on a stock exchange. She assumed it had gone out of business. Instead, Fashion Tress -- now known as Claire's Stores -- had twice changed its name. Woods' shares had been splitting and accumulating dividends for 40 years.
Japanese banks have long had a reputation for poor service, but at least one is trying something new -- wooing customers with an opportunity to try their hand at Lady Luck. A roulette wheel pops onto the screen of automatic teller machines when customers of Ogaki Kyoritsu Bank Limited finish transferring funds. A lucky spin and the customer wins a thousand yen, or about eight-and-a-half dollars. "Using A-T-Ms is impersonal and lacks communication," said a spokesman for the bank. "We wanted to add some fun."
BREVARD COUNTY, Florida. -- Some Brevard County residents are taking issue with a comment made by a county commissioner during a zoning meeting. County Commissioner Ron Pritchard told a resident to "get a gun" to deal with trespassers on his property. Environmental groups had just shown video of trees, which were illegally chopped down, and commissioners were questioning whether they had trespassed to get the video. Pritchard said he was joking. The Republican Merritt Island resident is running for re-election.
O'FALLON, Ill. -- The Veterans of Foreign Wars Post in O'Fallon, Ill., said it didn't mean any harm, but it has agreed to move a "G-Strings For GIs" strip show featuring male dancers. A nightclub in the nearby town of Sauget, Ill., has agreed to host the fundraiser Saturday night. Members of the VFW post said they figure the striptease event would raise more money in a single night than a month of fish fries. More than 150 women have plunked down $18 each for the event. The proceeds will go toward supplies such as sunscreen, books and bug spray. City officials in O'Fallon said the ladies-night show would have violated town decency codes, and they threatened to yank the VFW's liquor license. The city administrator notes the town has been picking up the cost of mailing packages to the troops. He said the VFW crackdown was not about what's patriotic, but what's appropriate.
Technology vs. Florida -- Ocala police arrested a 28-year-old man for lewd and lascivious battery on a teenager after the victim's father grew suspicious and put a GPS tracking device in her backpack. The girl's father told officials he monitors his daughter's activities by keeping an access log of her cellular phone calls, and she is required to carry a global positioning satellite tracking device in her book bag each time she goes to school or leaves the home by herself. The 13-year-old girl told police that Carlos Antonio Montanez picked her up at the bus stop and drove her to his home on August 18. They watched a movie and she was sexually assaulted. Montanez then reportedly took her back to the bus stop. The girl's father gave officials a GPS print out, which showed his daughter was in the vicinity where Montanez lives during that time. Montanez is being held at the Marion County Jail in $50,000 bail.
MELBOURNE, Florida. -- Residents in Melbourne are wrinkling their noses in disgust as no one can figure out what is causing a construction site to smell like manure. Recent laboratory tests failed to pinpoint the source of the stench. Nauseated neighbors griped to city hall earlier this summer about the 38-acre site, which was a former forest that was cleared to make room for a town house complex. An analysis of soil and water samples but the tests revealed nothing and no problems were found with nearby underground sewer lines.
World Cell Phone Throwing Champion Crowned...HELSINKI, Finland -- Ever heard of the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championship? It was held in Finland this past weekend. Old phones were supplied for contestants, who were allowed to pick which kind of phone they wanted to throw. The men's winner threw his phone 292 feet. The women's winner tossed her phone 167 feet, a new world record according to the organizers. She said she has tossed a cell phone a time or two before. Another contestant said three things were needed to compete: technical skills, power and a sense of humor. There were four competition categories: men, women, juniors and freestyle.
Not Much Room Six Feet Under...Residents of Tirana, the capital of Albania, not far from Italy, are trying to put off dying until the government and city officials end their fight over space shortages in the Albanian capital's graveyards. Tirana municipality has shut down one of the city's two cemeteries and said the other has space for only one more week. It blames the government for holding up the expropriation of nearby land that would add space for two years' worth of graves. headlines in the newspapers said "Death rites for a cemetery" and "Now starts the trading of the graves" alongside pictures of new graves dug in the lanes between old ones.
Let Jesus Take Your Coat - At a website called Pink Bubble Bath dot com right now you can buy a Hand Of Jesus Coat Hanger. It's a six by five by eight plastic hand with a nine in nail through the center of it, available in three fabulous colors. The ad happily announces that you can "hand a coat or a jacket from the fingers, and a hat or a light jacket from the nail."
Sweet Mary, Mother Of God - In Fountain Valley, California, a chocolate factory worker has grabbed some headlines for discovering a collection of vat drippings that resemble the Virgin Mary. Since its discovery earlier this month, employees of Bodega Chocolates have spent much of their time hovering over the tiny figure, praying and placing rose petals and candles around it. Willy Wonka was unavailable for comment...
Beatles Webcam Helps Foil Robbery. LONDON (Reuters) - An American helped foil a burglary in northern England whilst watching a Beatles-related webcam over the Internet, police said Friday. The man from Dallas was using a live camera link to look at Mathew Street, an area of Liverpool synonymous with the Beatles and home to the Cavern Club where the band regularly played. He saw intruders apparently breaking into a sports store and alerted local police. "We did get a call from someone in Dallas who was watching on a webcam that looks into the tourist areas, of which Mathew Street is one because of all the Beatles stuff," a Merseyside Police spokeswoman said. "He called directly through to police here." Officers were sent to the scene and three suspects were arrested.
Keep your distance. Avoid eye contact. And even if it looks cute, never hug a Swiss cow. Responding to numerous "reports of unpleasant meetings between hikers and cattle" along Switzerland's picture-perfect Alpine trails this summer, the Swiss Hiking Federation has laid down a few ground rules. "Leave the animals in peace and do not touch them. Never caress a calf. Do not scare the animals or look them directly in the eye. Do not wave sticks. And give a precise blow to the muzzle of the cow in the event of absolute need." A spokeswoman says that while there were no precise statistics on incidents involving cows, walkers are reporting more run-ins than a few years ago.
An Indiana woman who invested 800-dollars in a wig-making company during the 1960s but believed it had gone out of business recently learned she was wrong -- to the tune of more than 100-thousand dollars. Carol Lee Woods received a check last week for more than 116-thousand dollars from the state's Unclaimed Property division. Woods was working as a model in the 1960s when she bought 100 shares of Fashion Tress Inc., after reading about its wigs in Vogue magazine. Several years after her stock purchase, Woods lost track of the company and couldn't find it listed on a stock exchange. She assumed it had gone out of business. Instead, Fashion Tress -- now known as Claire's Stores -- had twice changed its name. Woods' shares had been splitting and accumulating dividends for 40 years.
Japanese banks have long had a reputation for poor service, but at least one is trying something new -- wooing customers with an opportunity to try their hand at Lady Luck. A roulette wheel pops onto the screen of automatic teller machines when customers of Ogaki Kyoritsu Bank Limited finish transferring funds. A lucky spin and the customer wins a thousand yen, or about eight-and-a-half dollars. "Using A-T-Ms is impersonal and lacks communication," said a spokesman for the bank. "We wanted to add some fun."
BREVARD COUNTY, Florida. -- Some Brevard County residents are taking issue with a comment made by a county commissioner during a zoning meeting. County Commissioner Ron Pritchard told a resident to "get a gun" to deal with trespassers on his property. Environmental groups had just shown video of trees, which were illegally chopped down, and commissioners were questioning whether they had trespassed to get the video. Pritchard said he was joking. The Republican Merritt Island resident is running for re-election.
O'FALLON, Ill. -- The Veterans of Foreign Wars Post in O'Fallon, Ill., said it didn't mean any harm, but it has agreed to move a "G-Strings For GIs" strip show featuring male dancers. A nightclub in the nearby town of Sauget, Ill., has agreed to host the fundraiser Saturday night. Members of the VFW post said they figure the striptease event would raise more money in a single night than a month of fish fries. More than 150 women have plunked down $18 each for the event. The proceeds will go toward supplies such as sunscreen, books and bug spray. City officials in O'Fallon said the ladies-night show would have violated town decency codes, and they threatened to yank the VFW's liquor license. The city administrator notes the town has been picking up the cost of mailing packages to the troops. He said the VFW crackdown was not about what's patriotic, but what's appropriate.
Technology vs. Florida -- Ocala police arrested a 28-year-old man for lewd and lascivious battery on a teenager after the victim's father grew suspicious and put a GPS tracking device in her backpack. The girl's father told officials he monitors his daughter's activities by keeping an access log of her cellular phone calls, and she is required to carry a global positioning satellite tracking device in her book bag each time she goes to school or leaves the home by herself. The 13-year-old girl told police that Carlos Antonio Montanez picked her up at the bus stop and drove her to his home on August 18. They watched a movie and she was sexually assaulted. Montanez then reportedly took her back to the bus stop. The girl's father gave officials a GPS print out, which showed his daughter was in the vicinity where Montanez lives during that time. Montanez is being held at the Marion County Jail in $50,000 bail.
MELBOURNE, Florida. -- Residents in Melbourne are wrinkling their noses in disgust as no one can figure out what is causing a construction site to smell like manure. Recent laboratory tests failed to pinpoint the source of the stench. Nauseated neighbors griped to city hall earlier this summer about the 38-acre site, which was a former forest that was cleared to make room for a town house complex. An analysis of soil and water samples but the tests revealed nothing and no problems were found with nearby underground sewer lines.
World Cell Phone Throwing Champion Crowned...HELSINKI, Finland -- Ever heard of the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championship? It was held in Finland this past weekend. Old phones were supplied for contestants, who were allowed to pick which kind of phone they wanted to throw. The men's winner threw his phone 292 feet. The women's winner tossed her phone 167 feet, a new world record according to the organizers. She said she has tossed a cell phone a time or two before. Another contestant said three things were needed to compete: technical skills, power and a sense of humor. There were four competition categories: men, women, juniors and freestyle.
Not Much Room Six Feet Under...Residents of Tirana, the capital of Albania, not far from Italy, are trying to put off dying until the government and city officials end their fight over space shortages in the Albanian capital's graveyards. Tirana municipality has shut down one of the city's two cemeteries and said the other has space for only one more week. It blames the government for holding up the expropriation of nearby land that would add space for two years' worth of graves. headlines in the newspapers said "Death rites for a cemetery" and "Now starts the trading of the graves" alongside pictures of new graves dug in the lanes between old ones.
posted by Tommie Closson at 9:38 PM
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