Cooking For Guys Who Can't Cook

Every scrap of food Pat brought in today was gone by the time we signed off at 10. The staff invaded, one after the other, and tore into it today. Usually they show more restraint. Unlike Craig and I, who always eat without abandon...

Possibly in honor of Michael Vick, Pat Double-Dogged It with both Chicago and New York-style Dogs. He did some homework (possibly a first for him, ever) and learned that 7 billion hot dogs are eaten between Memorial Day and Labor Day. And that's even before Craig and I arrive at the picnic.

NY City Dog (pictured): 1 thinly sliced onion, 1 tbsp of oil or butter, 1 tsp chili powder, 1/3 cup ketchup, 1/3 cup water, 1 tsp hot sauce, 1/4 tsp black pepper. Cook dogs to basic instructions, cook the onions in butter for 10 minutes until they're light brown. Add other ingredients, stir well, top off the dogs.

Chicago Dog: yellow mustard, chopped onion, sweet relish, chopped tomato wedges, chooped cucumber, jalapeno pepper, and the ever-important celery salt. Place cooked dogs in a poopy seed hot dog bun and load 'em up.

A1 Cajun New Orleans Ribeye: Marinade it for 24 hours, cook it to your favorite temperature. Use whatever cut of meat you'd prefer if ribeye isn't your thing.

Baked Chicken Dijon: Progresso Bread Crumbs, Flattened breaded chicken breasts, 1/4 stick butter, 1/4 cup mayo, Grey Poupon Mustard. Melt butter, add mustard and mayo, mix well. Dip the raw chicken in the mixture, toss in bread crumbs. Bake 15-20 min ncovered at 375 degrees or 165 degrees internal temp.