One Weird-Ass Story

Speak Dutch Or Be Fired! (Reuters)

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A Belgian auto parts supplier has forbidden its workers to speak any language other than Dutch, even during their lunch break, and employees could be fired if they disobey.

"We have people from Italy, India, Poland, Algeria here. It's to avoid cliques forming here and there," said Geert Vermote, human resources manager of HP Pelzer in the town of Genk in Belgium's Dutch-speaking Flanders region.

Language is a sensitive topic in Belgium, particularly in Flanders where locals and politicians are keen to promote the use of Dutch and prevent the encroachment of the country's other main language, French.

Two staff at HP Pelzer have so far received written warnings, out of a workforce of 125 employees, some 70 percent of whom are of foreign origin. Three warnings would lead to a worker being fired.

Belgian newspaper De Standaard reported Thursday that workers of Turkish origin, who make up some 35 percent of the company's workforce, felt the rule was aimed against them and had asked the union to intervene.

Vermote said the rule had been agreed with the company's works council and said the "three strikes" rule applied to warnings of any form.

"It's really nothing other than other rules we have, such as a ban on smoking," he said.

Polizotto Funeral and Procession Map

There will be some traffic tie-ups today.

Click here to find out where, or visit Michiana News Channel.

Heatherless Headlines

Ind. Man Jailed Over Explicit Fliers

Thief betrays himself to get free beer

Hugh Grant arrested after alleged baked beans attack

2 Men & A Baby Winner!

Click here to hear!

Phriday Photo Phinish

Taken yesterday from the Upper Deck at Coveleski Stadium, right after the storms came through.

I was there last night, serving as the MC for the Boy Scouts Algonquin District Dinner, where I was also The Professor for a spirited round of Are You Smarter Than A Scout?

My thanks to Sondra Gardetto (dunce) for the opportunity to get up there and tell horrible, horrible jokes.

Heatherless Headlines

Woman Sneaks Into Prison for Sex

Grandma Finds Condom in McDonald's Bag

Happy Birthday To We

Happy Birthday To Us!

Don't forget...you get the presents...tomorrow at the Portage Rd. location of Meijer.

Someone will win a $500 Meijer Gift Card!

And the first baby born on our birthday will win one, too!

Thursday's One Dumb-Ass Story

Captain America Arrested With Burrito In Pants

MELBOURNE, Fla. -- A doctor dressed up in a Captain America outfit was arrested with a burrito in his tights. What he allegedly did at the police station got him into more trouble.

Doctor Raymond Adamcik, 54, would probably rather forget about the weekend when he was arrested on charges of battery, disorderly conduct, drug possession and trying to destroy evidence. It's not what you would expect from a doctor or Captain America.

The family physician was at a bar as part of a pub-crawl with other medical professionals. It was a sort of costume party on a bus that would take them around from bar to bar.

Everything was fine until, witnesses said, Captain America started getting too forward with a burrito he kept tucked inside his blue tights, a burrito that ultimately landed him in jail.

He was asking women if they want to touch the burrito. When one refused, he allegedly took out the burrito and groped her.

The woman called police and, when they arrived, the officers wrote in their report "there were so many cartoon characters in the bar at the time, all Captain America's were asked to go outside for a possible identification."

The woman pointed out Adamcik and the burrito was found in his boot. He was taken to the police station. There, while in a holding cell, police said, he asked to use the bathroom and tried to flush a joint, also hidden in his blue tights, down the toilet.

"The officer observed him try to flush something into the toilet. He tried to flush it. The officer was able to reach inside and grab part of what he tried to flush," said Jill Frederiksen, Melbourne Police Department.

The doctor wasn't in when Eyewitness News went by and didn't return calls. He may now have to rely on a lawyer instead of his superpowers to get him out of the jam.

"This is definitely an unusual situation. We don't usually arrest people in costume," Frederiksen said.

No super powers got Adamcik out of jail. He needed $2,000 cash bail and then, once he got out of jail, he still stopped to pose for pictures on the way out. It is unclear right now whether the doctor could lose his medical license if he's convicted.

Tuesday, WFTV News learned that Adamcik was checking himself into a rehab program and taking a temporary leave from his medical practice.

Cooing For Guys Who Can't

Pat done brung us up some vittles! Wha-hoo!

Fruit Dip Cakes

Equal amounts of strawberry yogurt and Cool Whip, plus 2 cups of your favorite fruit. Mix it up and pour it over shortackes.




Onion Roasted Potatoes




1 envelope of Lipton Soup Mix

4 medium potatoes cut into large chunks

1/3 cup Olive Oil



Preheat oven to 425, combine ingredients in a 13x9 inch baking or roasting pan. Bake, stirring occassionally, for 35 minutes or desired brown-ness.

Sweet & Sour Chicken

about 1/3 cup each of red pepper, green pepper, red onion, and pineapple tidbits.

1 tsp soy sauce

1 tsp butter

1/2 cup orange juice

1/3 cup brown sugar

1 tbsp corn starch

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Sautee veggies in butter for 2 min, add pineapple and all the pineapple juice from the can, then the soy sauce, sugar, and half the OJ. Cook for 2 min, then add the rest of the OJ and corn starch until smooth. Cook until it thickens, then pour it on cooked chicken. Awesome with rice.

Pork Tenderloin w/Mushroom Sauce

2 lb pork tenderloin

1 pkg pork seasoning and cooking bag

1 pkg mushroom gravy mix

8 oz mushroom slices

Cook pork per suggestions on pkg. In a separate pan, sautee mushrooms in butter. When the pork is done, add juice and gravy mix pkg to sauteed mushrooms and pour over sliced pork.

Heatherless Headlines

Thief Tries to Trade Stolen Jeep

Miss America Helps Cops in Sex Sting

Light A Candle

This came from a civilian who works at the SBPD. Please pass this on:


In memory of our fallen South Bend Police Officer, Nick Polizzotto, please light a candle tonight and set it on your doorstep outside.

As our officers patrol our neighborhoods tonight they will know they are in our prayers and that we are thankful for their service.

Pass it on. Lets light their path tonight.

Yeltsin Dead

Interesting article at LA Times.

South Bend Police Shooting claims an officer

Get the latest from Michiana News Channel.

Tuesday Rock Roundup

Doris Richards, the 91-year-old mother of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, died Saturday in England. The band's spokesperson revealed the news Monday afternoon but did not disclose a cause of death. Richards had kept a vigil at her bedside.

Alice Cooper will publish his autobiography, Golf Monster: A Rock 'n' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict, early next month. The book covers his career, his recovery from alcohol abuse, and his love of golf. Professional golfer John Daly says, "Alice writes like he golfs -- straight and right down the middle."

George Thorogood and the Destroyers are assembling a 25th anniversary edition of their Bad to the Bone album for release later this year. They're working on some bonus tracks for the collection, and as a result have had to cancel their show in Nashville this Sunday night. The Destroyers will try to make up the show at a later date. They're in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina tonight and Cherokee, North Carolina on Saturday.

The 40th Anniversary Issue Rolling Stone (the first of three such issues) reports that Ticketmaster is auctioning some of the prime seats for The Police reunion tour for as much as $800. And guitarist Andy Summers acknowledges now that if the tour goes well...during which they are playing new material...that the band might hit a studio and finally put out their sixth album.

Crosby, Stills and Nash have been big supporters of environmental causes for many years, but they have not been invited to play at Live Earth, the 24-hour concert on July 7th that will help fund the fight against global warming. Graham Nash tells Premiere, "We don't exist in the rock and roll world to those people...If we're asked, absolutely. Are we gonna volunteer? Probably not." In any case, Nash supports the cause. "We know what shape this Earth has been in and what dangers face us."

John Mellencamp will entertain 300 wounded men and women of America's Armed Forces with a show inside the Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D-C on Friday. Mellencamp says that his performance at the opening of the Center for the Intrepid in San Antonio in January was what inspired him to want to do Friday's show. "It dawned on me what I really wanted to do is lighten the load of the soldiers and workers in the hospital, so why not just play for them?" Friday's show will air live on H-D Net at 8:0o p-m

Def Leppard -- in addition to getting ready for their summer tour with Styx and Foreigner -- is also recording a new album at singer Joe Elliott's home studio in Dublin, Ireland. Elliott tells us it has two working titles -- Songs from the Sparkle Lounge or just Sparkle Lounge. As for the sound of it, he says, "It's a very up-tempo rock album... It's not an album you might think is a typical Def Leppard record with that classic ballad on it." He adds that they plan to release it next year. Def Leppard starts their tour on June 27th in Cincinnati.

Cream singer-bassist Jack Bruce has been honored by his alma mater. Last week the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama in Glasgow opened the Jack Bruce Zone, a space for students to give live performances. Bruce will visit the school and do a short set on May 17th.

Contradicting last week's report in England's' Daily Mirror, a spokesman for Yoko Ono and a source close to Keith Richards tell us that neither will testify as character witnesses for producer Phil Spector in his Los Angeles murder trial. A 12-person jury has been selected and arguments in the trial are expected to get under way on Wednesday. A panel of alternate jurors was to be finalized yesterday.

As we clean up from Earth Day, Kirsten Dunst slams musicians for not taking up enough causes. She laments, "We don't have a Bob Dylan, you know what I mean?" she credits Bono with doing amazing things, but bands today just aren't measuring up in their level of social commitment. "I'm not saying that no bands are doing anything. I'm just saying we don't have the inspirational, like things that just pop out."

NEW ON CD TODAY:

Arctic Monkeys - Favourite Worst Nightmare
Patti Smith - Twelve
Various Artists - A Tribute To Joni Mitchell

NEW ON DVD TODAY:

Deja Vu DVD
Night at the Museum DVD
The Queen DVD
Ironside - The Complete First Season DVD
The Odd Couple - The First Season DVD
One Day at a Time - The Complete First Season DVD
Planet Earth - The Complete BBC Series DVD
WKRP in Cincinnati- The Complete First Season DVD

Monday's Heatherless Headlines

Pair Find Winning Lotto Ticket in Trash

Armed Miss America 1944 Stops Intruder

Grandmother Makes Emergency Landing

Drought Advisory Meeting Rained Out

Crook wins damages for injury during theft

Toilet Fires Lead To Recall

Phriday Photo Phinish

Heatherless Headlines

Malaysian Prosecutors Charge Dead Man

Dad Makes Son Wear Sign for Using Drugs

Notre Dame Blue Gold Game Info

- clickity -

Hokie Hope

Too small to read?

Virginia Tech family members across the country have united to declare this Friday an "Orange & Maroon Effect Day" to honor those killed on the campus on Monday, and to show support for the students, faculty, admin, staff, alumni, and friends at VA Tech. Orange & Maroon Effect was born several years ago as an invitation to Tech fans to wear orange and maroon to VA Tech athletic events. They invite everyone from all over the country to wear orange and maroon on Friday to support the families of those who were lost, and support the school and community they all love so much.

Tues Rock Roundup UPDATE

The Jim Morrison Pardon effort is getting some real legs now, according to Premiere:

The effort to have Jim Morrison receive an official pardon for his 1970 morals conviction is gaining steam. Florida governor Charlie Crist says he's seriously considering the issue. He told reporters that Morrison "died when he was 27. That's really a kid, when you think about it, and obviously he was having some challenges." There's also the issue of whether Morrison actually exposed himself onstage in Miami. Keyboardist Ray Manzarek said Tuesday that he never saw Morrison do that and added that none of the more than 100 photos used in the prosecution showed Morrison's genitals. Morrison appealed the conviction, but died while living in Paris before the case resumed. If granted, it would be Florida's first ever posthumous pardon. Manzarek tells the Associated Press, "Florida is Jim's home state. He's a Florida boy. Wouldn't it great if Florida could finally say, 'Hey, native son, your name is cleared. We recognize you as a young American poet.'" --Mike McCann

Heatherless Headlines

Sex Predator Hotline Goes to Sex Line

Semi Driver Checks on Doughnuts, Crashes

Smoke Break Saves S.C. Woman From Tree

On The Mark

Mark Buehrle threw a beautiful no-hitter against the Walker Texas Rangers Wednesday night at The Cell. It's the first for White Sox since 1991, and the first in the city in the last 40 years.

Thursday has been declared Mark Buehrle Day here in our studio, and all shall praise his name. Even Toni, the resident Cubs fan...

Abandoning The Playoff Beards

Fine. I get it.

I'm getting too old to grow a proper beard anymore. And Saturday we're giving away that Gunga La Gunga Golf Trip to Hilton Head. I can't wander around there looking like a hobo.

So I lost my pathetic little Playoff Beard last night. Damn.

I wasn't, however, the first of my triumverate to do so.

Up in British Columbia...Albert (a hell of a great guy despite his love for the Vancouver Canucks) got rid of his last week in favor of sex. Why must women get in the way of Hockey Tradition? Do they not understand how our teams are counting on us???

Steve, my brother from another mother on the East side of Michigan (guess which team HE likes...) is still going strong, like his Wings.

But I have abandoned the process, now. Because The Beloved Kim was likely going to shave me in my sleep, and probably take the 'stasche, too. Or Ragz would have when he came in on Friday.

Christopher Titus is coming to the Bone this weekend!

Our interview with Chris Wednesday morning can be found here

Bone

Titus

Barry Nelson, First Actor To Play James Bond On Screen, Dies

Barry Nelson first played 007 in a one-hour television adaptation of "Casino Royale" in 1954 -- well before Sean Connery was tapped to play the British agent on the big screen in 1962's "Dr. No."

Heatherless Headlines

Surveillance Catches Robbers Talking About Escape Plans

Former St. Cloud Mayor Finds Explosive While Gardening

Woman Returns Home To Find Naked Man In Doorway

Cooking Fire Closes Jacksonville Fire Station

VA Tech Tragedy

Please join the discussion this morning.

1-877-95-95-95-3.

Tuesday Rock Roundup

Paul McCartney is no stranger to having his fans read more into his songs and album titles than what is there -- who can forget the so-called clues on the Sgt. Pepper and Abbey Road album covers. Now there are those who think the title of his forthcoming album, Memory Almost Full, is a perfect anagram of "For My Soul Mate L-L-M." L-L-M are the initials of his late wife, Linda Louise McCartney. A source tells the Sunday Mirror, "It is a title Paul has had on his mind for a long time -- even before Linda died. He'd never have used it if things were going well with Heather [Mills, his estranged wife]. But this record is very much the break-up album. It's an homage to the woman who remains the true love of his life -- and his soul mate." The album will be out in June.

The piano on which John Lennon wrote "Imagine" will be photographed at more places where historic violent acts have occurred. The piano will displayed Wednesday in Oklahoma City at the site of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building bombing; Thursday at the former Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas; and Friday at Columbine High School in Colorado. A video documentary and book of the photos are in the works to raise money for charity.

David Gilmour denies rumors that he will be part of the Live Earth concerts on July 7th. His former Pink Floyd bandmate Roger Waters will perform at the New Jersey show.

Z-Z Top was recently inducted into the Southeast Texas Walk of Fame in Beaumont. Other stars on the Walk include Janis Joplin and country legend George Jones.

Ted Nugent's Concord, Michigan home was broken into on Saturday. Two A-T-Vs and two crossbows were stolen, but they were recovered and police apprehended two people. Nugent now lives in Texas.

New On CD

Former Bad Company frontman Paul Rodgers has a new C-D in stores today. Live in Glasgow was recorded last October on the last date of his U-K tour. In addition to such hits as "All Right Now," "Feel Like Making Love" and "Can't Get Enough," there are two new songs -- "Warboys (A Prayer for Peace)" and "Far Distant Shore." A companion D-V-D comes out May 29th. Rodgers says he planned to do the C-D and D-V-D before he toured with Queen in 2005 and 2006.

New on DVD

Freedom Writers DVD

The Last King of Scotland DVD

Notes on a Scandal DVD

Smokin' Aces DVD

Spider-Man 2.1 - Unrated - Extended Cut DVD

To Honor America

Uh oh.

The Silverhawks are going to let Tommie sing The National Anthem on Friday, May 11th, at the home game vs. Beloit at The Cove.

Mark your calendars. It's a Friday Night Game, so there will be fireworks. SOMETHING to look forward to...

The Playoff Beard, Day 5

(sigh)

It's just NOT growing in right. I can't grow a proper beard anymore, I'm getting too old.

If it doesn't look better by Friday, I'll have to sacrifice it so I can look somewhat human for the Gunga giveaway on Saturday.

So if Nashville gets bounced early...it's my bad.

(Day One of the Mutant Playoff Beard here...)

Feud Caused By Disease?

"...dozens of McCoy descendants apparently have the disease, which causes high blood pressure, racing hearts, severe headaches and too much adrenaline and other "fight or flight" stress hormones..."

Entertainment News

The diaries of Anna Nicole Smith apparently aren't as compelling or intriguing as the diaries of Anne Frank or Anais Nin. Anna Nicole's writings failed to sell at an auction this weekend, and are now available for a minimum bid of 25-grand each. A representative of the Heritage Auction Galleries of Dallas, which held the auction, called it a "buy-it-now situation." There were two bidders for the diaries, but they backed out over concerns that the books may be, as claimed by Howard K. Stern, stolen from her estate and the buyer could deal with a lawsuit. The content is largely concerned with her relationship with her billionaire beau and husband, 80-something oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall, and concerns about her eating.

Paris Hilton had a rocket in her pocket, but she left the pocket behind in a nightclub. According to gossip columnist Cindy Adams, the Simple Life star left a blue jacket at the Hollywood hotspot Teddy's the other night, after a hard-night of clubbing. When her people called to see if the jacket could be retrieved, the staff reportedly found the jacket -- and the battery-operated pocket sex toy in one of the pockets.

The greatest basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan, has notched another distinction -- the most expensive celebrity divorce of all time. According to Forbes magazine, the onetime Chicago Bull could wind up paying his ex-wife more than 150-million dollars, just a hair more than the 150-mil Neil Diamond paid to his ex 13 years ago. Steven Spielberg's 100-million-dollar bust-up with Amy Irving ranked third.

Free Fries

Print this page and take it to any Arby's for free fries today, because my boy Matt Kenseth won the Busch NASCAR Race driving the Arby's #17 car.

Monday Heatherless Headlines

Final Wishes, Instructions, Tattooed On Man's Arm

Man Loses Prosthetic Leg While Fleeing From Police

Menudo reforming for MTV reality series

Rock classics drive motorists over limit

Ronald McDonald House Charities Information

Big thanks again to Mike Mancini for coming in to share this info with us. This is a great cause, gang. Help it out.

· On April 20 at the Palais Royale, Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) of Michiana will host the second “McDazzle” to raise funds for the Ronald McDonald Family Room at Memorial Hospital.
· The night promises cocktails, great food, silent and live auctions, and a raffle drawing to win an all-leather sectional sofa with two inset recliners, and a beautiful entertainment unit – donated by Whims & Wishes Interiors. Also included in the package – a 42”, HD plasma television!
· There are still tickets available for this fabulous event. Tickets are $125 per person, and there are table sponsorships still available as well. Listeners can call 574-255-1933 ext. 40 for more information or to purchase tickets.

The Ronald McDonald Family Room is a home away from home for parents of seriously ill or injured children. Since opening its doors on November 5, 2002, approximately 12,000 families have utilized the facilities of the Ronald McDonald Family Room as day visitors or overnight guests. The Family Room can accommodate 35 families per day and includes three bedrooms, two baths with showers, a laundry room, kitchen, library and a common area. Due to community financial and in-kind support, there is no cost to families to utilize the Family Room.

Ronald McDonald Family Room board members also are selling raffle tickets for $5 each or five for $20. They will be at Whim & Wishes on Saturday, April 14 from 11 – 2 selling tickets. The winner does not need to be present at the event on April 20 to win.

Phriday Photo Phinish

Sunday is Jackie Robinson Day

Lerxst Lawsuit Goes Away

Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson's lawsuit against the Collier County, Florida deputies who arrested him in on New Year's Eve 2003 has been dismissed by a federal judge. Lifeson claimed that deputies violated his civil rights by using excessive force to subdue him and his son during a skirmish at a party at the Ritz-Carlton in Naples, Florida. But U-S District Judge Paul Magnuson wrote in a ruling that the deputies' actions "were objectively reasonable." The judge also ruled that the Ritz hotel and a security employee weren't negligent in the case. Lifeson's lawyer plans to appeal.

The Hockey

Was talking with two good friends of mine, who live far away, about The Stanley Cup Playoffs. We have decided to grow playoff beards.

I have not discussed this with The Beloved Kim, and she will not be happy about it, nor will my children. But I love my hockey, and I used to do this all the time for the Avs. These days, my favorite Avalanche player from back in The Day is a Nashville Predator. So as long as Forsberg is in the postseason, I'm-a keepin' the coming whiskers.

I'll post my progress every now and then, because I am bored. With their permission, I may put Albert's and Steven's up, as well. Three grizzly guys clinging to a dying sport, because it's going to make a comeback someday, and we'll be able to say we were loyal.

Day 1:

Go Preds!

Heatherless Headlines

REO Speedwagon Plays Wal-Mart

Woman saved by pile of poo

Sheriff Gives Himself a Ticket

Entertainment News

Man Seeks State Pardon For Jim Morrison

Dave Diamond is a cable television producer from Dayton, Ohio, who wrote to Florida Governor Charlie Crist last month asking for the pardon. Diamond said the goal is to remember the Melbourne, Fla., native as an artist, instead of another rock-and-roll bad boy with a rap sheet.

But Crist can't pardon someone by himself. He needs two of the three other members of the Florida Cabinet, which acts as the state clemency board.

In addition, there are no procedures for posthumous pardons.

Marshals Detain Girls Gone Wild Founder

Joe Francis drew the contempt citation during negotiations in a civil lawsuit brought by seven women who were underage when they were filmed by his company on Panama City Beach during spring break in 2003.

Lawyers for the women told a judge that Francis became enraged during the settlement talks, shouting obscenities at the lawyers and threatening to "bury them."

The judge ordered Francis to settle the case or go to jail for his behavior.

Roscoe Lee Browne dies

Dignified, silky-voiced character actorRoscoe Lee Browne died yesterday at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles at the age of 81. He'd been suffering from cancer. In a career that spanned 45 years, Browne's distinguished air often made him stand out -- whether in comedic or dramatic parts. After Robert Guilllaume's "Benson" was spun off Soap into his own sitcom, Browne was a natural to become the next deadpan butler, a character named "Saunders." He'd later win an Emmy for a guest appearance in The Cosby Show, and guest starred on such series as Bonanza, Sanford and Son, Good Times, All in the Family, Streets of San Francisco, Falcon Crest and Barney Miller, a role that resulted in an Emmy nomination. In 1972, he memorably rode with John Wayne, playing the chuck wagon cook in The Cowboys -- one of "The Duke"'s last westerns. He also had his turn in a few blaxploitation classics -- Super Fly T-N-T and Up Tight. Voice work continued to give Browne an active career until very recently -- he provided the voice of "Kingpin" in the Spider-Man cartoons of the 1990s, and was the narrator of Babe, Babe: Pig in the City and the comedy released earlier this year, Epic Movie.

Cooking For Guys Who Can't Cook

"Pat Pockets"

(name given by Craig)

Get pre-made pizza crust (in the biscuit aisle) and unroll it. Put in your favorite fillings. We had chicken, bacon, and cheddar on one side of the tray, Ham, onion, and swiss on the other. Fold it up to make a pocket out of it, place on a lightly greased pan, cook for 10-15 minutes at 400 degrees or until golden brown.

Apple Glazed Pork Chops

4 Boneless Pork Chops
1 Cup Apple Juice
1 small red onion, chopped
1 apple, peeled & sliced
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp corn starch
1/3 cup flour
3 tbsp oil (or enough to fry the chops)

Lightly cover the pork chops with flour and brown in the oil on both sides. Place them on a plate off to the side after they're browned. Wipe oil from pan with paper towel, put butter, onions, and apple slices into pan. Cook about 3-4 minutes and stir in 3/4 cup of the apple juice for one minute. Stir in the corn starch with the remainder of the apple juice util the juice slightly thickens. Put the chops back in the pan and cook them for about 2 or 3 more minutes.

Ugly Bean Dip

(...don't hate it because it's not beautiful...)

Combine the following items:

1 can Corn, drained (Pat uses Kuner's Southwestern Corn & Peppers)

1 can Black Beans, rinsed and drained (Pat uses Bush)

1 diced jalepeno

3 tbsp chopped cilantro

3-4 green onions, chopped

3-4 tomatoes, chopped

3-4 squirts of Tobasco

1/4 - 1/2 cup ranch dressing

1/4 cup italian dressing

chili powder to taste

salt/pepper (Pat uses Season Salt & Cayenne)

Again, we implore you: consider the Walorski Sandwich

Mayor's Errant Pitch Leads To Laughter, New Sandwich

Tuesday Rock Roundup

While many Van Halen fans were disappointed that the reunion tour with David Lee Roth was canceled, Eddie Van Halen's son isn't one of them. 16-year-old Wolfgang Van Halen was set to play bass in place of original bassist Michael Anthony, but he seems happier that his dad decided to check into rehab. Wolfgang tells People, "My dad's taking care of himself. I also think I'm too young for the experience, because I know there are a lot of bad things out there." Yes...like working with your Dad, Wolfie...

Police guitarist Andy Summers says if things go well on the band's reunion tour, there is a chance they might follow it with a new studio album. Answering questions last week in London at a book signing for his autobiography, One Train Later, Summers mentioned that they will do some new songs on the tour, which starts May 28th in Vancouver.

Aerosmith start their South American tour Thursday in Brazil, and bassist Tom Hamilton is back after his throat cancer treatment.

Ozzy Osbourne will title his new disc Black Rain, and it is tentatively due out June 12th. A full stream of "I Don't Want to Stop," the first single from the album, will debut on Ozzy's site Friday. In other Ozzy news, the details on how to get free tickets for this summer's Ozzfest have been announced. Tickets will be given out through Ozzfest-dot-com, LiveNation-dot-com, MonsterEnergy-dot-com, JagerMusic-dot-com and FYE-dot-com starting May 12th.

Mark St. John, who played guitar in KISS in 1984, died Thursday from a cerebral hemorrhage. He was 51. Born Mark Norton, he played on the Animalize album, which was the most successful disc of the band's non-make-up era. He only played three concerts with KISS because he was suffering from Reiter's Syndrome, which is an inflammation of the joints. St. John's replacement in KISS, current Grand Funk guitarist Bruce Kulick, says, "I respected his talent and contribution to KISS. May he rest in peace." St. John is the second KISS member to die. Drummer Eric Carr succumbed to cancer in 1991.

Gary Glitter will seek amnesty for his morals conviction in Vietnam. The British glam rocker, best known for "Rock and Roll Part Two," has another year and four months to serve for sexually molesting two young girls. Glitter's Vietnamese lawyer hopes his plea will be considered before April 30th -- amnesties are often granted on that date, which the Asian country celebrates as the date the Vietnam War ended in 1975.

NEW ON DVD TODAY

Bobby DVD
Emilio Estevez wrote and directed this drama that tries to capture the flavor of American life at the time of Robert F. Kennedy's assassination in 1968.

Payback DVD
Director Brian Helgeland was fired before this crime drama starring Mel Gibson was finished. Paramount then had additional footage shot and completed a version of the film that was released theatrically in 1999. A few years later, Paramount and Helgeland got together and created a version of the movie that is closer to the director's original intent. There's more focus on Gibson's character, but he is less sympathetic and a subplot involving his son's kidnapping has been cut. Also, Kris Kristofferson is no longer in the film.

Heatherless Headlines

95-year-old woman traps thief

Dreamed up phone number leads man to a bride

Fight At Retiree Clubhouse Ends In Jail, Hospital

Florida Preacher Starts "Pull Up Your Pants" Campaign

FAA: Flight Canceled After Pilot Screams Obscenities

Movie Mix-Up Shocks Families Expecting PG Film

Custody Battle Over Baby Shuts Down Part Of I-4

Heatherless Headlines

Man caught with 'Easter grass'

EAST HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - Officers who pulled a man over for running a red light found a plush Easter bunny stuffed with marijuana in the car, police say.

'Mr. Awesome' looted bank account to buy porn

NEW YORK (AP) - A former New York City city maintenance worker used repeating payments of US$49.95 to a "John Awesome" to steal thousands of dollars from the city and pay for Internet pornography, prosecutors said Saturday.

Pete's Special Birthday Tributes...

...can be found on the T & B Audio Page here...

Motorcycle Auction

A scholarship fund has been made in the name of USMC Corporal Aaron Seal, who made the Ultimate Sacrifice in Iraq.


You should buy, like, a shitload of these tickets. As many as possible. Help the fund get some serious bank going.


Up for grabs: a 2007 Harley-Davidson Fat Boy, emblazoned with the Marine Emblem. The bikes are on display at Hoosier Harley-Davidson in Elkhart. Go buy a lot of the tickets right now. Seriously. Stop what you're doing and honor a fallen soldier by increasing the fund that bears his name.


A marine from Aaron's company will be winning the other one at the end of the raffle, right before they draw the name of the winning raffle ticket.


The loot:

We're Live At The Food Bank For Dyngus Day on Monday!

Click for more skinny!

Phriday Photo Phinish

The Final Act

The Final 9 Episodes of The Sopranos begin this weekend.

Tommie's picks to DEFINATELY be dead at Series' End: Christopher & Janice. Probably Paulie, too.

Maybe: Johnny Sack or Silvio.

Heatherless Headlines

Wow. Like a ghost town in here. Gone Wednesday, sick yesterday. Back to it now:

Unopposed, Small-Town Candidate Gets No Votes

Drunken Firefighter Arrested Wearing Women's Clothing

Man Follows Bird Up Tree; Chopper Saves Him

Coyote in Chicago Quiznos

BY SHAMUS TOOMEY Staff Reporter, Chicago Sun-Times

A coyote wandered into a downtown sandwich shop this afternoon and tried to nudge its way behind the counter before settling in a refrigerator that usually just holds bottled drinks.

The coyote entered the Quiznos, 37 E. Adams, just before 2 p.m. — after the lunch rush.

The door had been propped open on the warm afternoon, and the small coyote entered and tried to nose its way to the food preparation area, according to employees.

A worker blocked a swinging door with his foot, so the animal tried to scramble over the counter. Eventually, it gave up and settled atop a row of Diet Pepsis in the cooler.

There were four customers in the store at the time. Two walked out after the coyote walked in. Two stayed behind, finished their sandwiches and took cell phone photos before leaving.

Police officers arrived and escorted employees out of the shop.

An animal control worker arrived just before 3 p.m., corralled the coyote with a lasso-like tool and walked it out to a waiting van.

One SERIOUSLY F'd Up Story...

Keith Richards says he snorted father's ashes

One Weird-Ass Story

Man In Car Hit In Stomach By Falling Debris From Construction Site

Officials said a big metal nut fell from a construction beam, smashed through the passenger side of the windshield and hit the man.

KITT for sale!

Dublin dealership offers `Knight Rider' car for sale


KITT, the flame-throwing, river-jumping, talking muscle car from the 1980s show "Knight Rider," is up for sale.

Now restored to its debut-season glory, the modified black 1982 Pontiac Trans Am is offered at $149,995 at a Dublin auto dealership. Johnny "Vette" Verhoek of Kassabian Motors has had the car, officially called Knight Industries Two Thousand, on display for about a month.

It is one of four documented "camera cars" used for close-up shots and scenes where David Hasselhoff, who played Michael Knight in the series, was behind the wheel.

- more -

Heatherless Headlines

Homeowners Group Sues To Evict Toddler

Specialty Hot Dog Seller Faces Foie Gras Fine

Iraq's 'Arab Idol' Contestant Captivates Nation

Vote For The New Plate

Indiana is finally getting rid of the ugly-ass "Back Home Again" license plates.

Vote for the new design for next year here.

Heatherless Headlines

Police: Man Arrives at DUI Hearing Drunk

KFC Worker, Son Allegedly Stage Robbery

Thieves steal man's kitchen

Tuesday Rock Roundup

As Eric Clapton gets ready to stage another Crossroads Guitar Festival July 28th in Chicago to raise money for his Crossroads rehab center on Antigua, he also has to do a little damage control. He tells the Associated Press, "I think [Crossroads has] suffered a little bit in some of the recent publicity with the celebrities who go there," referring to Britney Spears' one-day stay there in February. "It's a bit of a witch hunt going on in some of the news channels about rehabs in general. It's a little scary -- the last thing we want is to lose any of the rehabs."

Ringo Starr shows no signs of slowing down as he has four projects scheduled to be released this year. In addition to a new studio album slated for the summer, he is releasing a D-V-D of last year's All-Starr Band tour; a C-D of his 2005 Soundstage performance; and a new best-of on Capitol Records. On his website, he says this year is gonna be "musical Ringo world." No word on exact release dates for any of these projects.

John Mellencamp will make an appearance on The Ellen De Generes Show tomorrow, in a performance from Universal Studios in Orlando.

Shaw-Blades, the duo of Tommy Shaw from Styx and Jack Blades from Night Ranger, are currently on tour in support of their new album, Influence. The acoustic show has them performing in a living-room-type setting with couches, chairs and rugs on stage. They even allow fans to sit on the stage with them. Shaw tells us, "It really does feel like we're sitting around our house." The tour heads to Indianapolis tomorrow.

In case you're waking up to reports that Led Zeppelin is reuniting this summer, you've been fooled, as in April Fool's. A story went round yesterday saying that they would regroup in commemoration of the 60th anniversary of Aleister Crowley's (a British occultist, writer and mystic) death. Ringo Starr's son, Who drummer Zak Starkey, supposedly would have taken the place of the late John Bonham. The first show was to take place in the Oakland Coliseum and the ticket prices would be what they were in 1977.

TODAY'S NEW RELEASES:

The new compilation Black Sabbath: The Dio Years finally hit stores today. The 16-track collection features three new songs recorded last year by Ronnie James Dio, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Vinny Appice -- "The Devil Cried," "Shadow of the Wind" and "Ear in the Wall," as well as 13 tracks from Dio's three albums with Sabbath.

The Allman Brothers Band have gone back into the vaults for another of their Archival Series releases. Boston Common 8/17/71 is a seven-song disc that includes a 26-minute version of "You Don't Love Me," an 18-minute version of "Whipping Post" and a 13-minute take on "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed." It is on sale now through the band's website.

Eric Clapton and Brian Wilson are among the artists on a new collection only available at Target stores. New Music From an Old Friend: Singer Songwriter Legends contains two songs by Wilson -- "God Only Knows" and "What Love Can Do," which he co-wrote with Burt Bacharach. Clapton is featured, along with Stephen Bishop, on "Save It for a Rainy Day."

Charlotte's Web DVD Dakota Fanning stars with voices that include Julia Roberts as Charlotte, Steve Buscemi, John Cleese, Oprah Winfrey, Cedric the Entertainer, Kathy Bates and Robert Redford.

The Good Shepherd DVD Matt Damon's CIA movie.

Entourage - Season Three - Part One DVD

Sunday needs to hurry up...

Chicago Tribune Sold, Cubs Are Next

Zell wins Tribune auction; Cubs to be sold

April 2, 2007, 7:57 AM CDT

Chicago billionaire Sam Zell has won the auction for Tribune Co.

Terms are expected to be disclosed later this morning.

At the same time, Tribune said it plans to sell the Chicago Cubs after the 2007 baseball season.

- FULL STORY HERE -

Entertainment News

The Fresh Prince is the undisputed King of Hollywood. According to Newsweek, Will Smith has morphed into the "most powerful actor on the planet," with worldwide box office receipts of four-point-four-billion dollars. One "industry insider" tells the newsweekly, "Will Smith is the only thing in this business -- the only thing -- that represents a guaranteed opening weekend." An unnamed studio head puts it this way -- "There's Will Smith, and then there are the mortals." The first two mortals trailing Smith, by the way, are Johnny Depp and Ben Stiller.

You would think third-place news anchor Katie Couric would be the one with anxiety, but Meredith Vieira, her replacement on the top-rated Today show, is suffering from panic attacks. The 53-year-old former View co-host tells Ladies' Home Journal, "I think you can develop depression. I think sometimes maybe the magnitude of life just sort of seeps into my brain." She says the anxiety attacks can lead to some odd behavior -- like a fear of driving over bridges. And if you want to write to cheer her up, don't -- the panic attacks keep her away from her fan mail. She says, "I could see 10 great letters and then the next one that comes up that says 'I can't stand you' is the only one I'll remember. It's horrible. I don't really have a thick skin. I think it's gotten thinner, actually."

After a couple of false starts, Star Trek's "Scotty" is finally going to be beamed up! The remains of actor James Doohan, who played the chief engineer on the starship Enterprise's, have been packed into a rocket in New Mexico -- a rocket that is scheduled to be launched on April 28th. Doohan isn't going into his final orbit alone -- among the 200 other people whose ashes are ready for countdown are those of real former astronaut Gordon Cooper. Doohan died in 2005 at the age of 85. Two previous efforts to beam him up were aborted.

Paul McCartney's estranged wife, Heather Mills, was on Jimmy Kimmel Live the other night, and confessed she's not had sex in 10 months -- despite the rumors that she was involved with her personal trainer. She also says she requested that her dance partner on Dancing with the Stars be gay so that there would be no further rumors. And as for her leg, she told Jimmy it's still hanging on, as is Heather who enters her third week on the A-B-C reality show tonight.

Heatherless Headlines

N.Y. Students Nabbed Over Laxative Prank

Cabbie Says He Was Stiffed on $8,200

Man Arrested In Indiana For Skipping Out On The Same Meal 5 Straight Weeks